Apr. 29th, 2021 at 4:30 PM
@BARNES | VOICE • TEXT • VOICEMAIL • ACTION • SAM COMPLAINTS BOX
BUCKETHEAD.
March 2023
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Comments
There are people here from Planet Earth, Samuel. I'm pretty sure they're not used to seeing someone with a bionic arm just casually walking down the street.
[ he's insecure! bucky knows sam's being a Good Friend, but he'd only just gotten comfortable with removing his sleeve and considering wearing short-sleeved (and tiny) shirts with his family and boat friends. the wilsons hadn't even fluttered an eyelash when he'd had his arm on display. the kids made bucky feel less like a monster. ]
Or someone with a big shiny shield. You're going to need to keep tabs on that thing. We only just got it back.
[ So it's an arm thing. Sam's perceptive enough to accept that and move with it. Bucky'll get comfortable again when he feels like it. ]
I have Redwing on protective duty. Anyone trying to touch the shield or the suit will get tasered. The Wakandans don't fuck around.
Thanks to you.
[ c'mon, samuel. he trusts sorcerors. strange had some snazzy shit going on with his cape and sideburns. ]
This is probably the moment where I tell you that if you piss me off, I have the power to blow up your suit with you in it. All I have to do is press a button.
[ Sam is far less impressed with Strange's cape and sideburns. ]
This is the part where I laugh in your face, there's no way the Wakandans gave you a cheat code on MY suit. They already like me better than you.
[ he's not going to ask xav where he can get gloves. what do you think he is? well-adjusted? ]
Bullshit. Ayo told me you look like you dress with the lights off. They don't like you, Sam.
No one does.
[ 🎤 ]
[ Because Sam is well-adjusted so yet again he'll step up. ]
That is in no way true. We communicated entire sentences through single looks like 'can you believe this ungrateful white boy we keep having to save?' 'White wolf? More like white puppy dog with bad manners.'
[ yes, he knows he's a child. ]
You and I both know you were shitting in your pants when the Dora Milaje came to the door. You didn't make eye contact with either of them.
Your eyes are also not that expressive.
[ How are these two allowed to be superheroes. Someone fire them.]
My eyes are very expressive they just mostly only want to say 'fuck off' whenever they look at you.
They're about to say "Bucky punched me in the face" because I'm going to punch you in the eye when I see you next, Sammy.
I'm sorry is that how Bucky Barnes is supposed to treat Captain America?
That's coming, btw.
I pushed him into a lot of trash cans back when I was bigger and taller than him. Now I'm going to push you into trash cans because you're annoying.
Also I look good in anything.
Did you just compare me unfavorably to John Walker?
[ YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. ]
I'm just saying the only sense he had was dress sense.
[ the smoothest of saves!!!!!! ]
You're better looking than him. You've got a better jaw line.
4's generous. He's at least a 3.5. He's only got the height going for him.